16 – Parenting Expectations
Again, Mark has stated his purpose for publishing videos is to reveal personal, negative results of bad parenting. He wants viewers understand the importance of great parenting and hopes others will become better parents because of viewing his videos. As already discussed in previous messages, today, parents need more knowledge and understanding regarding their children’s capabilities and development.
Mark’s video of Hunny in “The Thoughts of a 22-Year-Old Woman” highlights a variety of positive and negative examples of less-than-ideal parenting. Hunny grew up in a negative, unstable home. Her mother moved back to Korea and was not involved in her upbringing. Although she must have benefited from living in a somewhat affluent home, her Korean father was a violent drunk that regularly smashed the furniture. But Hunny’s loving grandmother was able to prove some balance to her young life.
In the beginning of the video, Mark discusses that Asian parents have high expectations for their children regarding education and careers. A result of these cultural expectations can be seen in the fact that Asian Americans have higher incomes per capita than any other racial or ethic group in the nation. A high percentage of them become lawyers, engineers, scientist, and business owners. They often run successful businesses in economically depressed areas. For example, many of the businesses destroyed during the 1992 Los Angeles Riot were Korean owned. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1992_Los_Angeles_riots. I shopped in some of those businesses before the riots.
Hunny’s challenge is that her interests and inclinations are not in academic and career fields common for Korean families. Her orientations are directed toward self-expression in the arts through writing, acting, modeling, and so on. In a Korean family with typical high expectations, that also included a violent, alcoholic father, Hunny was “a square peg that didn’t fit in a round hole.” But her loving grandmother provided support and encouragement by enrolling her in dance and other self-expression lessons more directed toward her inclinations.
With all the negatives in Hunny’s home environment, she left home to make her own way at an early age. Based on the support from her loving grandmother, she has continued life, striving toward stability and self-learning through exploring herself and her inclinations. There is every indication she will do fine during the rest of her life.
Unfortunately, some parents have unrealistic expectations of their children, attempt to force them into a mold not in keeping with their interests. In many such families, children develop a sense of failure because of not meeting their parent’ s expectations. For example, a world of knowledge would have been lost if Mark Laita’s parents had tried to force him to be a lawyer. 8/11/2025 Joseph L. Bass