12 - Elements of Angelica’s Success
Mark’s interview with Angelica records elements of her success in escaping addiction and being able to live a normal, balanced life. A Life on Drugs, Angel, New York City – 11 Unfortunately Angelica did not experience these elements through her mother and father. She was fortunate in receiving them from different people that provided on-going love and caring. In discussing the tragic passing of Kyara Guidry, Mark said that a child must receive unconditional love from parents. “How Childhood Trauma Destroys Us.”
In a usual home situation children will act out negatively and need parenting correction and guidance from an early age. In addressing this type of situation, parents’ messages must be, “I will always love you as my child, but I do not like what you are doing. We need to talk.” This approach demonstrates a valuing of the child’s intellectual ability to communicate with the adult parent about values, priorities, and behaviors.
Several times people demonstrated love and caring for Angelica by taking her into their family-like environments. Her best friend’s family look her into their home so that she could complete high school. Two guys, previously unknown to her, traveled to New York and took her to Minneapolis to help her kick heroin addiction. At that point in time, Angelica had enough strength of character to not be overcome by her roommate’s insistence she stay and continue with their shared addiction.
Although the details of her housing in Minneapolis are unclear, Angelica continued experiencing a caring and supportive environment provided by friends as she struggled with addiction. Importantly they provided her a job, working in a bookstore. As stated by Frederick Douglass, a person achieves respect from others and respect-of-self based on personal accomplishments and self-reliance. What Would Frederick Douglass Think? 4
After Angelica’s suicide attempt, the husband-and-wife team from the bookstore held her hand everyday while she was in a coma. “We will always love you as our friend, but we do not like what you did. We need to talk.”
After Angelica had abandoned her drug addiction, she was enthusiastically approached to be a performer in the Coney Island Side Show. An internet search indicates she has been doing well for about 25 years. So far as I can tell, her’s is the first on-going success story in Mark’s videos.
When Angelica experienced alcohol addiction, she was able to reject it because it interfered with her performance capabilities and feared losing the respect of fellow performers.
Angelica verbalizes that feeling good is the common factor in being addicted or being clean. A person that experienced damaging parenting has not yet developed the self-respect needed to strive toward a productive life through self-accomplishments, and uses drugs to feel good.
A person with a positive self-image will have a greater chance to be able to feel good through personal accomplishments.
An addicted person is more likely to come clean and prosper through experiencing the same elements Angelica was able to have in her life.
Message 13 - Her Mother’s Parenting Challenges.