Exploring Mark’s Understanding Challenges – 6
In Mark’s video “How Childhood Trauma Destroys Us,” he discusses his challenges involving different types of social dynamics. Regarding one dynamic, he mentions the reason for his “Soft White Underbelly” channel. He wants viewers to understand the importance of great parenting and hopes others will become better parents because of viewing his videos. I described some characteristics of quality parenting in “The Importance of a Complete Family – 3.” Later I will discuss probable social challenges that may result in young adults to be unknowing draw into a life style that can result in them becoming the type of uncaring “parents” as described my Mark in the same video.
In “How Childhood Trauma Destroys Us,” Mark says the unexpectedly passing of Kyara Guidry was like being “hit by a train.” His life with Kyara was great and suddenly she dies because of self-destructive behavior she had stated she would never do. The “why” involves her mysterious change of behavior. Why did she change?
We will never know for sure why Kyara changed her life’s path to take cocaine, but there are several interrelated possible, but known social dynamics that may be involved. These dynamics might be seen in the fourth and fifth Ivy videos. They are also found in the 1962 movie The Days of Wine and Roses dealing with alcohol addiction, staring Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick. They fell in love in the haze of their addiction and, to escape alcohol, one had to chart a new life after rejecting the loving relationship with the other. Symbolism probably is involved in the fact that Jack Lemmon’s character’s name is Joe Clay. Originally, he is easily influenced or “molded” by others. He had to strengthen himself to do the “right thing,” escape his addiction, and provide a better life for the couple’s daughter. Of course, overcoming addiction is easier in a Hollywood movie than in real life.
In the fourth video, “Ivy Ex-Prostitute dated June 2021,” one aspect of Ivy’s challenge deals with the man she loves, the father of her expected child. To follow a new life’s path, she will have to reject him because he is not ready to escape with her from the life in the hood. In her fifth video, “It Is What It Is,” Ivy appears more affluent, but she is still living a life not respected by society as a drug addict and a whore, and she has not gained parental rights to her daughters. We can assume she stayed with her man and continued along her old path. But she is still young, and hopefully she will be able to succeed and maybe her man will be willing to go with her. Let us hope and pray for them.
In Ivy’s June 2021 video she discusses another known social dynamic that made it difficult for her to change her life and maybe influenced Kyara’s thinking to change in behavior. In the hood there exists strong peer pressure for individuals to continue living by a self-destructive code. In Ivy’s case she reports a variety of social efforts to get her to not change her path in life. This includes pressure from her man, her drug dealers, and her customers.
On the surface it appeared Kyara had escaped into a life-style different from some of her friends’ social environment. It would not be unheard for her friends to communicate negative views of what she was doing. They may view her change of behavior as a violation of the code many live by. “Do you think you’re better than us because you now have a rich, white boyfriend and socialize with high society?” This type of peer pressure could be much like the pressure put on Ivy in her efforts to led a different life.
Again, we will never know for sure why Kyara changed her behavior. But one thing is for sure. Today our understanding of society is about where we were when I was six and our telephone was a wooden box that was powered with a crank. Our knowledge and understanding of physical things have advanced to being able to put people on the moon and view pictures taken on Mars. But our understandings of abstract social concepts lags far behind. To achieve Mark’s goal and for all of us to experience a much better social life, we must know a great deal more about ourselves and how we relate with each other. July 2, 2025