Mark,

I'm gonna do what Johnny said not to do, which is to talk about somebody I don't know. And it's not because I'm chicken but it's because I don't want to give that punk ass, little loud mouth mother fucker any more air in the room or anymore sun that he already stole. Johnny's right. He's bad money. We don't want none of that. He's fucking 12, probably can't even vote but he waded into the deep end of the pool and the grown ups swim down here. No fucking floaties! The little punk needs to quit talking about you and freeloading off your back. That's bullshit.

Last year was a shit year for me. I was wrapping up being sucked in to inspector general investigations (plural!) over some person trying to make me do something borderline illegal and clearly unethical. But it was burn the little guy and cover up that smell before people from DC start to smell it. I naively, down in my gut, thought people really wouldn't risk 30 year careers just to throw a chicken bone to a friend, damn everyone else in the process. But she did it. I had to choose - do the right thing or look away. I wasn't looking away so now I'm damaged goods and she got to retire with all her benefits, and got to give her friend the chicken bone. That's fine. Fuck it.

I have no real reason to complain about anything. I have food, shelter, a job - but that took some wind out of my sails that I don't want back. Keep that shit over there. But I'm somebody who is here for a reason. No clue what but I do know she doesn't get my integrity. That's mine. And I'm important to whatever God or the Cosmos needs me to be here for. Whatever.

But you - Mark. Don't let this piece of shit touch you. You have integrity. You have a skill that means something to a whole lot of people. Not everyone's life is expected to touch as many lives. Some people are supposed to impact the world more than others. You are one of the people that has an out-sized impact on the world. I'm sorry Bro, that's just how it is. But I'm kinda not sorry since I have personally benefitted from your work.

We should all go back to some of your early videos and just zoom out. Look at what you have done. I volunteered at a rape crisis center (I'm male and only once did a woman go off on me about a guy being there). All I did was show up so the survivor knew that someone cared what happened to them, offer a warm blanket, listen if they wanted to talk, and make sure they got through to the end. And I was stupid enough to think that I had some idea of how traumatic sexual assault could be.

Look where you started and where you are now. Look how many of us have spent part of our lives with you on your story-telling journey. You let real people tell their story, many for the first time. You work your ass off making video after video, listening to gut wrenching stories, one after another. You did that. You do that. That's who you are. That's the content of your character!

After that shit with the investigators, I have a part of me that is jaded and I don't even want to let it go. I might if I feel like it. But I'll decide that. During all that bullshit I watched a lot of your videos. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about other people. I've grown as a person because of your videos, because of your talent and skill that you willingly put to use to honestly, sincerely try to improve the human experience. You have done that.

If you're sick of it, no one can throw shade. No one. You've improved more people's mental health than you'll ever know. But if you look back at those early videos and you see where you've taken us, there's nothing that little boy has on you. No matter whatever else you do with your time on this planet, you have already made the world a better place. And no one can take that from you. No one.

You've grown. You're stories feel more purposeful, almost like you are more driven than you were before. I'm into music so I look at your videos as art pieces, masterfully, tastefully assembled until the porridge is just right. Your craftsmanship has grown. A personal favorite if the Beaver guy. That was good. Couple of twists and turns. Not what I thought at first. Nice.

Is your journey over? You're now teaching us about relationships while still reminding us what I think we all already know - children need to be loved for things to work out right. It's an easy ask for me. We need you, man. But it's your life too. You gotta do what your heart tells you. You know what I'm hoping to hear.

And if you do keep going on this journey, fuck gofundme. But let us donate at least on this site. Johnny is right about one thing. I'm not coming down to skid row for myself. That's cruel, I know, but I'm not gonna lie to Johnny if he reads this. But I will donate more. You're giving it all. It shouldn't cost you and only you to try to do something, no matter how artificial and impersonal a donation can be.

And Johnny, I know about real hispanic pride. I'm from San Antonio. Respect don't play. It's personal. Words don't just come out of your mouth for free.

Just like Taylor Swift. She's got her 'Swifties.' I feel sorry for anyone associated with Taylor's boyfriend. He best not get too big for his britches' and lay his super-bowl winning hand on her. Damn! The SHIT will fly! And he's down for the count!!

Mark, you got us - we're your 'Bellies.'

See you on YouTube.